I drove to Bismarck tonight since I am flying out to Portland from here in the morning and yes, I cried or fought back tears for about 50 of the 106 miles it took me to get here! I think it was partly the choices of music (reminding me of the lonely nights I spent driving solo to see Evan in the hospital) and because I am going to have 3 sleeps away from my boys :( It's bittersweet for sure- I get to see some great friends and my old clinic (not going to lie- I may not like seeing my old office occupied by someone else...love you, Brent!) I get to go to the worlds best halloween party and participate in some great business meetings, but I will be missing Ben and the boys soooo much! And I may visit our old home (which we still own) and not want to leave! I love being close to family, but the Portland heartstrings are still so fresh and strong. Did we make the right decision? What if we would have stayed? Can we go back? Would we make it? Would we regret it? What's best for our family????? Ahhhhhhh, SO many questions and emotions. I am having a hard time dealing already and I'm not even to the Rose City yet!
One things for sure, hands down, I have the cutest boys EVER!! I mean- look at Evan's grin! Happiness is where these boys are <3
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