Just waiting...

I wish I could say my lack of rounding reports was because all has been going great, but that's not the case :( I got to the hospital yesterday morning expecting to find a happy hungry baby as he was the 2 days prior, instead I found a very sleepy baby who was not at all interested in eating. He also vomited, a lot. He has done this a few times now. Just as I am getting ready to give him a bottle he throws up what looks to be his last feed and then some (very curdled like it has been sitting for a long time too). You would think we would stop feeding, yes? No.

Here's my rant: it's like deja vu from when we were in the ER initially and it scares me to death. I feel like he is on the cusp of getting really sick again and the surgery team is not responding to my concerns. I hope more than anything that I am wrong and Evan will get through this, but I have a sick feeling I am going to be saying "I told you so" in a few days. Evan is currently refusing most of his feeds after eating so well all weekend. He is also vomiting large amounts hours after eating. He is having withdrawal symptoms from pain meds that were supposed to be weaned over 1 week and were completely discontinued on day 2. He is only comforted by being held tight in my arms and at times that isn't enough (so we are both well covered in stinky vomit!) The one positive is that his xray looks good, no sign of obstruction... But his xray also looked good early on in the ER so I am not completely convinced.

So given all of this, what is the new plan? Nothing. Nope. Notta. Nothing for pain. Nothing to help him cope. And go ahead and keep feeding your baby that is vomiting and refusing to eat, ya that sounds good! We are just going to watch and wait they say. You can guess I am not taking this without a fight. I have had a hospital administrator and patient advocate here to help document my concerns and get a plan from the attending (our attending that did the surgery is on leave this week so I have been dealing with residents and fellows. They are now calling in the covering attending to look at the whole picture and be responsible.) I am sure I have pissed off the entire team and they probably shudder when their pager goes off from our nurse- do I care? Not.one.bit. I know what type of care we deserve (we got it while we were in the PICU and had more than the surgery team caring for Evan and I work with some pretty amazing doctors so my expectations are quite high! ...as they should be). I at least want them to say they hear me and quit trying to justify with statements that are obsolete. Maybe start measuring his abdomen to be proactive about possible distention or give him some meds to help him rest and be more comfortable. I just need them to do something.

For now I have decided to not follow orders and will discontinue to feed Evan, and we will see what the day brings. I miss Ben and the boys at home, I had no idea this was how the week was going to turn out!

Please pray for comfort and answers for Evan and strength for Ben and I to keep this up. And most importantly, pray that mom is wrong for once (ya, only once, ha!) and this is just a slow healing process that needs to "wake up his gut" and not more sickness!

Xo, b